Am i selfish? Or is that self-love? A Psychological Perspective
Hello dear readers,
Today, I would like to discuss an important topic that is often misunderstood: the difference between egoism and self-love. In therapy, there often comes a point where patients question whether they have become too selfish. Both concepts are closely related, yet they have fundamental differences that are crucial for our mental well-being and our interpersonal relationships. Let's take a closer look and explore how we can find a healthy balance between self-love and egoism.
Egoism: When "I" Takes Center Stage
Egoism is an attitude in which one's own well-being and needs take precedence over others'. It involves a tendency to see oneself as the center of the world and primarily focus on one's own interests without much regard for others. Egoistic behavior can manifest through self-centered actions, greed, disregard for others' feelings, and lack of empathy.
Egoism can be advantageous in certain situations, particularly when it comes to achieving personal goals or protecting one's own boundaries. So, healthy egoism can indeed be important and meaningful. However, excessive egoism can lead to problems in social relationships and impair the sense of community.
Self-Love: The Foundation of a Healthy Self-Esteem
On the other hand, self-love is a positive and healthy approach to self-respect and self-care. It means unconditionally accepting and respecting oneself. Self-love is the ability to treat oneself with kindness, compassion, and appreciation, similar to how one would treat a beloved person.
Self-love is essential for a healthy self-esteem and our well-being. When we love ourselves, we acknowledge our own needs and set boundaries that protect us from exploitation and abuse. Self-love is the fertile ground for a positive self-perception and forms the basis for a healthy relationship with ourselves and others.
The Subtle Difference: Setting Boundaries and Consideration
The main difference between egoism and self-love lies in how we treat ourselves and others. Egoism places the "I" in the foreground and often neglects the needs and feelings of others. On the other hand, self-love means taking care of oneself without ignoring the needs and feelings of others.
Self-love includes both compassion and empathy, both for ourselves and for others. It means recognizing and respecting our own needs while also being considerate of the needs and boundaries of others. Thus, it adopts the attitude of "I am important and okay, and you are equally important and okay!"
Sounds quite complicated! How can we find a healthy balance?
Finding a healthy balance between self-love and egoism requires mindfulness and self-reflection. Here are some steps that can support us in this process:
Self-reflection: Take time to recognize your own needs and behavioral patterns. Ask yourself whether you sometimes act selfishly or if you struggle to love and accept yourself.
Cultivate compassion: Practice compassion both for yourself and for others. Remember that nobody is perfect and that mistakes and weaknesses are part of being human.
Set boundaries: Learn to set clear boundaries and protect yourself without hurting the feelings of others. Also, respect the boundaries of other people.
Practice gratitude: Cultivate gratitude for what you have and appreciate the positive relationships in your life.
Conclusion
Egoism and self-love are two closely related but different concepts. Egoism emphasizes the "I" and often neglects the needs of others, while self-love forms the foundation for a healthy self-esteem and positive relationships with ourselves and others.
By treating ourselves with compassion and appreciation while also considering the feelings of others, we can find a healthy balance between self-love and egoism, leading to a fulfilling and harmonious life.
In that sense: Love and accept yourself, take care of your needs, and consider the needs of others. "I am important and okay, and you are equally important and okay!"
Yours, KM
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